Jackhole’s Realm: Alternative Entry To The Devils Dictionary


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I have not done one of these in a long time. Going back to my early postings as Brett Jeremy on Huffington Post, one of my favorite things to do was adding alternative entries to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. It was a fun way to lampoon the day’s events. —you may add your own definitions. Without further ado I present to you,

 

HOMO BIGOTUSn. A subspecies of the lowest kind of the human branch. Homo Bigotus can be found throughout the world, having the largest concentrations in the continental United States. In the southern and mid-west states there exist a curious deviation, unremarkable from Homo Bigotus with the sole exception of a pronounced gun fetish.

 

Characteristics of Homo Bigotus include, but not limited to, extreme hatred of minorities, people any shade other than pale, women, the LGBT community.

Weaknesses: Education and personal hygiene.

Heroes: The Ku Klux Klan, The Republican Party.

Personification: Donald Trump. A boorish, orangutan orange anus hue demagogue that is the Republican presidential candidate front-runner.

About Jack Cassidy

Don't worry I'm not trying to be a Legitimate blogger.........no time for it and no money in it, just have fun.
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1,119 Responses to Jackhole’s Realm: Alternative Entry To The Devils Dictionary

  1. fi says:

    Looks like one of them Military Coos, have got loose in Turkey, planes and tanks everywhere, without the Head of States say so.

  2. fi says:

    Bit of a scardy cat when flying, but I kinda like the look of this.

  3. fi says:

    Al-J reporting Military Chiefs being held hostage in Ankara.
    Turkey is a member of NATO.

  4. waverly says:

    Evening Realm, Seems the world is in perpetual turmoil as usual.

    • ALOE VERA says:

      It certainly is Wave. I’m having one heck of a time with it. I’m checking out early again tonight, but I’m going to try to post positive things tomorrow. As much for my own sanity as others. Hope you’re hanging in okay. ❤ ❤

  5. waverly says:

    Does anyone understand the military overthrow in Turkey and what is happening there?

    • ALOE VERA says:

      I don’t, but I’m assuming that’s why there’s been an increase of military air traffic here today. See you tomorrow.

      • waverly says:

        Aside from the news I hope you and you pup have a peaceful evening Vera. Sending much love and peace your way. ❤

  6. Fancy Jack says:

    COUP IN TURKEY….HILLARY what have you done now? I may have to deal with her for 4 years but I’ll have my say. 😛

  7. Darth says:

    Go on vacation and the military takes over the country. I hate days like that.

  8. waverly says:

    From the LA Times

    What we know so far:

    Turkish Prime Minister Binali Yildirim told a Turkish television network shortly before 1 p.m. Pacific that reports that a coup had been attempted in his country were correct.

    Military officials claimed they had seized control of the country shortly before 2 p.m.

    As of about 4:40 p.m. PT, Turkey’s national intelligence spokesman claimed the coup had been “repelled.”

    At least one state-funded broadcaster went dark after military officials went its Istanbul headquarters.

    In an interview with CNN Turk, Erdogan is reported to have said “I am still president.”

    17 police officers were killed near Ankara after a military helicopter opened fire on their headquarters.

    http://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-turkey-unrest-map-turkey-is-strategically-located-1468617920-htmlstory.html

  9. waverly says:

    BBC News

    People across Turkey are very confused and surprised, the BBC’s Katy Watson in Istanbul says.
    In Washington, US President Barack Obama urged all parties in Turkey to support the “democratically elected government”.

    Nato called for “full respect” for Turkey’s democratic institutions

    Mr Erdogan told CNN Turk by mobile phone the action was by a “parallel structure” that would bring the necessary response. He has used this term in the past to refer to Fethullah Gulen, a US-based Muslim cleric he accuses of fomenting unrest.

    Mr Erdogan called on people to take to the streets to oppose the uprising.

    He said: “I urge the Turkish people to convene at public squares and airports. I never believed in a power higher than the power of the people.”

    Mr Erdogan said he was on his way to Ankara and those involved in the action would pay a heavy price. His office said he was in a secure location.

    Reports earlier on Friday said the president was on holiday in the south-western resort of Marmaris.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36809083

    • waverly says:

      (Apparently Turkey has had its share of military coups)
      Turkey’s military coups

      1993 – Claims of a “covert coup” intended to prevent a peace settlement with the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK)

      1980 – Military coup following armed conflict between right-wing and left-wing groups in the 1970s

      1971 – Military coup known as the “coup by memorandum”, which the military delivered instead of sending out tanks

      1960 – Coup by group of young military officer outside chain of command, against the democratically-elected Democrat Party

      http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36809083

  10. waverly says:

    NBC News

    Secretary of State John Kerry said the State Department was monitoring a “very fluid situation,” and “emphasized the United States’ absolute support for Turkey’s democratically-elected, civilian government and democratic institutions.”

    The U.S. is essentially forced to stand by the democratically-elected government of their ally, Werz said. President Recep Erdogan was elected president in 2014 in the country’s first direct presidential election, after serving as prime minister for three terms.

    “For the U.S., this situation creates a dilemma,” Werz said. “The U.S. government will have to defend the elected government … knowing, that the military can count on considerable support among Turks that are tired of an increasingly authoritarian president and continuing terrorist attacks in their country.”

    “Erdogan’s relationship with the (U.S. government) is strained and marked by increasing distrust,” Werz told NBC News. “There are few in the U.S. government that are willing to do the Turkish government any favors.”

    http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/france-truck-attack/nice-death-toll-rises-france-mourns-deadly-truck-attack-n609911

  11. waverly says:

    (Last post on the topic, I promise)
    Turkey’s coup: An expert tries to explain what the hell is going on – Vox

    Amidst news of the coup attempt in Turkey, I reached Dani Rodrik, a Turkish economist and international development expert at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. He was traveling in Spain, but emailed answers to some of my (very basic) questions on the crisis. Here’s our exchange.

    How, as someone who doesn’t follow Turkish politics closely, should I understand what’s going here?

    The coup attempt is very puzzling. For one thing, it seems to have been very poorly planned. For example, most TV channels were left operating and there does not seem to have been an attempt to take Erdogan in. And as I write this, it seemed to be collapsing. Second, it is not clear who would benefit from a coup. The military is no longer the secularist stronghold with a strong esprit de corps and sense of mission it once was. (Hence the widespread theory in Turkey that this was a coup staged by Erdogan himself, designed to pave the way for an Erdogan dictatorship. But this doesn’t quite ring true either, in light of Erdogan’s recent attempts to mend fences with Russia and Israel to strengthen the economy. He must know that even a failed coup would wreak havoc with the economy.)

    Erdogan and his has allies blame the coup on a Gulenist cabal within the military. Fetullah Gulen is a US-based cleric who was once allied with Erdogan. Since their split, Erdogan has gone after Gulenists with a venom – declaring them a parallel state within the state (not too far from the truth).

    We know that Gulen has a fair number of sympathizers in the military. In fact, the military may be Gulen’s last bastion of strength in Turkey, since others in the police, judiciary, media and other branches of the government have already been purged. No doubt, the government will use the coup as an opportunity to launch an even bigger attack on the Gulen movement.

    The Gulen movement is certainly capable of a wide range of dirty tricks – but a coup does not seem to be their kind of thing. And besides, what did they stand to gain from such an amateurish attempt?

    What are the causes? Is this pressure from refugees? Missteps from Erdogan? Economic unrest?

    None of the above really. Whatever the reason and the actors involved, it was some kind of internal power struggle relating to none of those things.

    Looking back, was this predictable?

    Erdogan has taken the country deeper into authoritarianism and aggravated ethnic and religious cleavages. I would have speculated even about a civil war – given tensions with the Kurds. But a military coup? That was totally unpredictable. At least I thought so.

    What do you see as the range of plausible outcomes from this point?

    I hope that the coup will fail. Assuming that is what happens, it will clear the way for total domination of Turkish politics by Erdogan. It will make it easier for him to make the constitutional changes he wants to make himself essentially the one and only politician deciding everything in the country.

    Either way, the chances for democracy have receded even further.

    http://www.vox.com/2016/7/15/12204368/turkey-coup-expert

  12. misterx27 says:

    The Middle East is a tinder box.Thanks to GWB And Cheeney.sadly the President was not able to get out of the mess
    That will take decades

  13. Darth says:

    They said in Turkey that state media started playing a documentary of Azerbaijan as the coup was underway. It instantly reminded me of what happened in Russia during the 1991 coup to overthrow Yelstin. State media played swan lake. Over and over. That’s when people knew something was up and took to the streets. Of course this was before twitter.
    http://russianbooks.blogspot.com/2011/08/swan-lake-why-anti-gorbachev-coup.html

  14. Lizard says:

    World gone crazy. 😛

  15. Fancy Jack says:

    Fell asleep…hitting the gym hard or maybe it’s the other way around, took almost a month off now I gotta pay the price. The wifey called me fat- the G-damn twig, when she is close to doing 200lbs on the deadlift then she should talk.

  16. Classical Gas says:

    The coup failed – most have surrendered. Still something going on in the capital.

Comments are closed.