An Exercise In Verbosity

Oh! Mr. President what beauteous tenure you have given us. Unlike your predecessor you have mastered the ability to conjugate a verb; I’m at awe every minute of every day, Magnifico!

I knew that you were the man for the job when it came to light that during the darkest hours of your presidency, you dear sir, remained calmed and led by example and found your way to the white house kitchen, in the dark no less, while everyone fumbled in the dark looking for the fuze box—a lesser man would have crumbled under such tremendous pressure, you are a beacon in tempest-tossed shores.

Everything you do is replete with dandyness. I hear that your brilliant mind is put to use at every task, I ask who else can put on his pants one leg at a time and not have a hang nail get entangled in the fine cotton/wool fabric? Of course the answer is you. No hangnail would dare mar your svelte form, your excellency.Your shoes! not only do you have one, you have two! How is that done, whom, calm of nerve, can coordinate like you do?

A nation, a wife, two kids, a dog with ease and grace you doth command— the GOP like banshees in your way will stand but thou like a sickle will cut down to the benediction from us all.