There Is No Spoon


About Fancy Jack

Don't worry I'm not trying to be a Legitimate time for it and no money in it, just have fun.
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1,242 Responses to There Is No Spoon

  1. Darth says:

    Hey, this thread background is kinda trippy. If you stare at it long enough you can see things.

  2. CLOSED EYES says:


  3. Lizard says:

    All these funny memes mekka me laugh.

  4. CLOSED EYES says:

    Time to turn out the lights, Realmsters!..Dreamy Dreams, All!….8-)

  5. fancykat says:

    Image removed by request—Editor, Jack

  6. classicalgastoo says:

    Hiya, Gramma and Fancy!

  7. Agent Jack says:

    Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

  8. Agent Jack says:

    When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”

    • Hobette says:

      Are you getting these from the Republibagger Book of Bad Jokes?

      • Agent Jack says:

        It’s only Republibagger Book of Bad Jokes only when it picks on Dems—Proving the point libs=0 humor.

        • Hobette says:

          I’m not a lib.

          • Agent Jack says:

            Well if you say progressive that’s like saying Santa is real.

            • Hobette says:

              I didn’t label myself, Jack.

              • Agent Jack says:

                By inference we all have.

                • Hobette says:

                  OK,I’ll play. How would you label me?
                  How do you label yourself ?

                • Agent Jack says:

                  With a wiggle room for error I would say given your past statements I would say you are average on the Lib scale but now with your statements above and the wiggle room I say you are closer to center left than I thought, and that’s ok. I know people hate the Lib label so a Democrat closer to center left, kinda like Obama is on paper.

                  Me? I have no idea given my current political angst how to accurately classify myself. I know I can be a bit fiscal conservative, that is I have never been afraid of standing against waste. But overall, if anything, I have drifted way to left of centre-left politics mostly over social issues, I hate injustice of any kind but I stop short of being a LaRouchePAC loon.

                  As far as progressives or the implication of what it means to be one if means a slightly pissed off Lib/Dem I have no interest in that. We should champion compassion, responsibility and skepticism and have the fortitude to act on whatever the facts reveal.

                  This is my view one that is mine and I don’t push on others but I expect to be free to share with and occasional rant as an indulgence.

                • Hobette says:

                  Rant away my friend! 😉 (Sorry, I fell asleep.)

          • Darth says:

            labels suck. Well, except on food. Those are handy.

    • Darth says:


    • fancykat says:

      I think if Hillary runs, Bill will be brought up even though she was not to blame for his weakness.

  9. Agent Jack says:

    George W. Bush and his VP running mate, Dick Cheney, were talking, when George W. said, “I hate all the dumb jokes people tell about me.” Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss, said sage-like, “Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I’ll prove it to you.” Cheney took George W. outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I’m home,” said Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, “See! That guy was really stupid!” “No kidding,” replied George W., “There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

  10. Darth says:

    Okay, this was funny

  11. Agent Jack says:

    Q: What did Osama Bin Laden’s ghost say to Mitt Romney? A: “Don’t be sad, Obama’s foreign policy killed me too”

  12. Agent Jack says:

    A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, “I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?” He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, “What is her name?” He answers, “Monica Lewinsky.” There is a pause, then his mother asks, “What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?”

  13. Agent Jack says:

    It was so cold today, a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets!

  14. Agent Jack says:

    So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, “What are these clocks for?” St. Peter replies, “These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa’s clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice.” The man then asks, “So where is George Bush’s clock?” St. Peter replies, “Oh, that is in Jesus’ office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!”

  15. Darth says:

    New Oxygen-Hoarding Crystal Is the Future of Breathing Underwater
    “It only takes about 10 liters of a newly-developed form of crystalline cobalt salt to steal the air from a room, or at least the 21 percent or so of that air comprised of oxygen. Given the right conditions, with the temperature and atmospheric pressure just so, it could take as little as seconds for the material to do its work. Then, by gently heating the material or subjecting it to low surrounding oxygen pressures, the material can be prompted to release its O2 payload back into the air.

    This new crystalline oxygen “sponge” comes courtesy of researchers at the University of Southern Denmark. As with most things that remove oxygen from the air, the material works by binding chemically to the individual oxygen molecules. You’re doing something similar as you read this in your lungs, as incoming oxygen grabs hold of the hemoglobin proteins found in blood, thanks to nice chemical “handholds” in the form of iron ions.”

  16. fancykat says:

    I sent the e-mail Jack but I believe when Explorer shut me down it screwed with my log in twice. Now I’m going to read your jokes.

  17. fancykat says:

    As soon as I hit post comment, I had to log on to word press again. At least I didn’t get a porn star.

  18. fi says:

    Good morning 🙂

  19. fancykat says:

    Nice music. I’m trying again.

  20. fancykat says:

    That one went well.. I always leave when fi arrives.

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