Jackhole’s Realm: Alternative Entry To The Devils Dictionary


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I have not done one of these in a long time. Going back to my early postings as Brett Jeremy on Huffington Post, one of my favorite things to do was adding alternative entries to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. It was a fun way to lampoon the day’s events. —you may add your own definitions. Without further ado I present to you,

 

HOMO BIGOTUSn. A subspecies of the lowest kind of the human branch. Homo Bigotus can be found throughout the world, having the largest concentrations in the continental United States. In the southern and mid-west states there exist a curious deviation, unremarkable from Homo Bigotus with the sole exception of a pronounced gun fetish.

 

Characteristics of Homo Bigotus include, but not limited to, extreme hatred of minorities, people any shade other than pale, women, the LGBT community.

Weaknesses: Education and personal hygiene.

Heroes: The Ku Klux Klan, The Republican Party.

Personification: Donald Trump. A boorish, orangutan orange anus hue demagogue that is the Republican presidential candidate front-runner.

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1,119 Responses to Jackhole’s Realm: Alternative Entry To The Devils Dictionary

  1. Classical Gas says:

    ‘There Is Another Kind of Violence, A Violence of Institutions’
    In a speech delivered in 1968, Robert F. Kennedy reflected on riots and violence in the streets and talked about the wrongs that Americans, nearly 50 years later, still must right.

    http://billmoyers.com/story/another-kind-violence-violence-institutions/

  2. ALOE VERA says:

    Google – stop censoring Jill Stein!
    http://www.jill2016.com/google?recruiter_id=1176216

  3. fi says:

    Group hug.

  4. Classical Gas says:

    Here you go…

    “When water is scarce, why not pull it out of thin air? An industrial designer in Austria is hoping to do just that (well, sort of).

    Kristof Retezár, a designer based in Vienna, invented a device that can extract humidity from the air and condense it into drinkable water. The handy gadget, dubbed Fontus, can be attached to a bike so that cyclists can generate water during long-distance rides through the countryside, where pit stops may be few and far between.”

    http://www.livescience.com/53401-fontus-converts-humidity-into-water.html

    • ALOE VERA says:

      That’s a great idea! The humidity we’ve had here lately could’ve kept the whole village watered!
      Hiya Sweetie! How’re you and RF?

      • Classical Gas says:

        Yep, I thought of you and 4E when I saw this.

        Hi there, Sugar! We’re good, thanks. I hope you are as well.

  5. Darth says:

    Pokémon is a game in which creatures are captured, imprisoned and forced to fight on behalf of their captors. So probably not the greatest metaphor here… or the perfect one, depending on your point of view.

    Hillary Clinton is holding a campaign event at a Pokémon Go gym http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/14/12193236/pokemon-go-hillary-clinton-campaign-event-pokestop

    “As if the surreal events surrounding the stratospheric spread of Pokémon Go could not get any more ludicrous, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is holding a campaign event at a Pokémon Go gym. The area is Madison Park in Lakewood, OH, and it doubles as a Pokéstop as well. “Join us as we go to the Pokéstop in Madison Park and put up a lure module, get free pokémon, and battle each other while you register voters and learn more about Sec. Hillary Clinton!!! Kids welcome!” reads the Clinton campaign website.”

  6. Darth says:

    Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the fetishization of “objectivity” http://www.vox.com/2016/7/14/12177104/ruth-bader-ginsburg-objectivity-trump

    “Here is what changed after Ginsburg expressed her fear of a Trump presidency publicly: nothing.

    Ginsburg was never, ever a neutral observer of this election. If she had decided against granting any major interviews this year, she would have been exactly as biased. Hell, it’s possible that the backlash to her comments has made her more likely to rule in Trump’s favor, now that her reputation is at stake.

    This is the problem with confusing “objectivity” with objectivity. It might be nice if we could find judges (or journalists!) devoid of opinions about major issues in American life, but so far I don’t think we’ve located any. So what we ask, instead, is for “objectivity”: for those opinions to be concealed and left to exert their influence quietly, opaquely, sneakily. The result is the same — or worse — but the process is hidden.”

    • ALOE VERA says:

      Say what?

      • Darth says:

        What?

        • ALOE VERA says:

          😆
          Hey, I was totally self-absorbed last time we talked, Darth. Sorry ’bout that. I hope your biopsy also turned out with a big whew?

          • Darth says:

            Oh yeah, no worries, it was hives. I’m pretty much allergic to everything now so I have to be careful what I eat. Seafood will give me a reaction, but it depends on what kind and takes a day for the worst of it. It’s really weird. But at the time I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. Did they tell you what it was for you yet?

  7. Darth says:

    Yay for them, sucks for us.

    Microsoft wins: Court rules feds can’t use SCA to nab overseas data http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2016/07/microsoft-wins-court-rules-feds-cant-use-sca-to-nab-overseas-data/

    “In a case closely watched by much of the tech industry, an appellate court has ruled in favor of Microsoft, finding that the company does not have to turn over the contents of an Outlook.com user’s inbox to American investigators because that user’s data is held abroad, in Ireland.

    In a 43-page decision handed down on Thursday, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the lower court’s ruling, finding that the Stored Communications Act, which allows domestically held data to be handed over to the government, does not apply outside the United States.”

  8. Darth says:

    Interesting reading

    New survey offers revealing look at views of young Americans https://blog.ap.org/behind-the-news/new-survey-offers-revealing-look-at-views-of-young-americans

    “Days before the Republican and Democratic national conventions, the first-of-its-kind GenForward survey reveals how young people feel about top political issues and the two presumptive presidential nominees.”

  9. Darth says:

    ACLU Gears Up to Fight Donald Trump’s Long List of Unconstitutional Proposals https://theintercept.com/2016/07/14/aclu-gears-up-to-fight-donald-trumps-long-list-of-unconstitutional-proposals/

    “The American Civil Liberties Union is preparing to fight a deluge of unconstitutional acts should Donald Trump become president.

    “If implemented, Donald Trump’s policies will spark a constitutional and legal challenge that will require all hands on deck at the ACLU,” said Executive Director Anthony Romero.

    In a 27-page memo released Thursday, the ACLU accuses Trump of “police state tactics” and says his proposals on counterterrorism, border security, and women’s rights would routinely violate the First, Fourth, Fifth, and Eighth Amendments.”

  10. Darth says:

    Jill Stein is actually getting air time on MSNBC with Chuck Todd. This is a first. If they perceive her as a threat they’ll be going after her, but I suppose they have to introduce her to the audience first.

  11. Darth says:

    not again.

    Dozens killed as truck crashes into Bastille Day crowd in Nice, France http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/jul/14/truck-crashes-bastille-day-crowd-nice-france/

    “France’s national holiday turned ugly for revelers Thursday night in the southern city of Nice, as a truck reportedly crashed into a crowd of Bastille Day revelers, killing dozens of people.”

    “There was no immediate claim of responsibility but according to the Twitter account of the terrorism-news portal TRACTerrorism.org, Islamic State affiliated Telegram accounts were posting images from Nice.

    A terror attack in France on July 14 would be symbolic as one in the U.S. on July 4. Bastille Day is France’s biggest public holiday, celebrating a Parisian mob’s storming of a royal prison on that date in 1789, kicking off the French Revolution — the founding event of modern France.”

  12. fi says:

    RIP France.

  13. Fancy Jack says:

    60 dead’ after truck crashes into crowd at Bastille Day celebrations in Nice ‘terror attack’

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/07/14/truck-crashes-into-crowd-at-bastille-day-celebrations-in-nice2/

    • waverly says:

      Hiya Jack, weren’t you the one who reported that France has been having daily ongoing protests / riots in the streets, which is not being reported by mainstream media.

  14. fi says:

    Seems as though there are multiple scenes of terrorism in Nice tonight, reported hostage situation in one of the hotels, and police and emergency services seen going into a night club in Nice.

  15. Tío Azúcar says:

    Light arms and explosives found in the truck

  16. waverly says:

    Melanie Safka – Look What They’ve Done To My Song

    Look what they’ve done to my song, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song
    Well it’s the only thing that I could do half right
    And it’s turning out all wrong, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song.

    Look what they’ve done to my brain, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my brain
    Well they picked it like a chicken bone
    And I think I’m half insane, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song.

    I wish I could find a good book to live in
    Wish I could find a good book
    Will if I could find a real good book
    I’d never have to come out and look

    Look what they’ve done to my song.
    It’ll be all right ma, maybe it’ll be okay
    Well if the people are buying tears I’ll be rich someday, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song.

    Ils ont changé ma chanson, ma
    Ils ont changé ma chanson
    C’est la seule chose que je peux faire
    Et ce n’est pas bon ma
    Ils ont changé ma chanson.

    Look what they’ve done to my song, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song
    Well they tied it up in a plastic bag and they turned it upside down
    Look what they’ve done to my song, ma.

    Look what they’ve done to my song, ma
    Look what they’ve done to my song
    It’s the only thing I could do all right and they turned it upside down
    Look what they’ve done to my song, ma.

  17. Darth says:

    Talked to some family there, they are really freaked out right now. I’m hoping they don’t go down the police/security state road that America did. There are factions pushing for it, and war. If that happens the US would most certainly have to be involved. The next administration will definitely be more amenable to boots on the ground. Either Trump or Hillary.

  18. Tío Azúcar says:

    AT LEAST 75 DEAD, 50 INJURED……………..

  19. ALOE VERA says:

    I just can’t deal with all of this. Our whole world has gone insane. 😥

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